In the last year and a half of
Bill’s life, he had to endure hemo dialsysis due to kidney failure caused by
anti rejection medications. Bill had
also suffered permanent kidney damage due to complications during his lung
transplant. Knowing this was likely to happen we had studied the different
modalities and Bill decided it would be best to opt for home dialysis so that
he would not be exposed to potential infection at a dialysis center. His kidney’s failed suddenly and unexpectedly
leaving him to have to go to a dialysis center for several months while we
arranged to be trained to do his dialysis at home. Before our training started however, Bill got
an infection at the dialysis center called RSV.
It is a virus that causes a common cold.
This virus is deadly to the lung transplant patient because the
inflammation caused from this virus apparently triggers chronic rejection.
After four weeks of training we
were approved to begin doing hemo dialysis at home. There are not adequate words to describe the
enormity of this responsibility. The
training nurse came over for three days to make sure our equipment was set up
properly and we had all of the necessary supplies. We then had to be observed performing Bill’s
dialysis without assistance for two sessions at home. Needless to say over the next couple of weeks
we experienced a few glitches that nearly sent me over the edge of reasonable
sanity never to return; but we made it together. Bill’s confidence and trust in me was
unbelievable. We were a team though; he
watched me like a hawk and corrected every misstep and potential misstep. We spent four hours, five days each week
administering dialysis at home. By all
accounts we were very successful with the home dialysis. But the damage from
the RSV infection was lurking in the background.
We noticed that Bill’s lung
function was slipping ever so slowly and he was becoming more short of breath
and oxygen dependent. Eventually a
bronchoscopy was done revealing Bill had developed a fungal infection in his
lungs. The options for treating it were
limited and long term. Bill decided he
wasn’t going out without a fight (CF tenacity) and we embarked on adding an
additional 3 to 4 hours of healthcare to his daily regime. Adding another medication to his already long
list was difficult due to cross interaction of so many meds. There were few waking hours left in our day
that weren’t consumed by healthcare, leaving both of us exhausted. In the end
Bill was victorious! He had given all he
had to live for as long as he could. He
had dedicated himself to honoring the Lord with his life, to me and to his
family.
Now, I don’t have Bill’s strength
and confidence (CF tenacity) to draw from. I have lost half (or maybe more) of
who I had become. The Lord says in His Word, He is husband to the widow and
father to the fatherless. I am more
dependent on that promise than I am able to describe! Although the responsibilities have changed,
the weight of new responsibilities weighs heavy making adjustments in this new
life more difficult. This seems silly to me considering all that Bill and I went through for so long. This should be a cinch! Nonetheless, broken and poured out I will wait with my eyes fixed on Christ and the Work He continues to do in me.
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