First Thanksgiving - The Lord is My Portion

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations."  Psalm 100

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him."  Lamentations 3:21-24

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Although we remember the first Thanksgiving today and share in the memories of our forefathers.  Today is also another first day of Thanksgiving for our small family.  It is the first Thanksgiving without Bill at the head of our Thanksgiving table.  He is however here in spirit and love and sharing in our love for him.

Historically, our Thanksgiving holidays were pretty quiet.  I would spend the morning preparing our holiday meal while Bill and the children watched the parade on tv and played games.  As Bill's CF began to interfere more in his life and well being, Thanksgiving was usally when it would cause the most trouble.  Bill would often get sick right around Thanksgiving and have to have IV antibiotics or more often he would break a rib on Thanksgiving day.  Thanksgiving day 2004 was probably the most noteable of all Thanksgiving Day events for Bill.

He was sitting at his desk at his computer when all of a sudden he yelled out in wrenching pain!  Bill yelling any time was rare, so that day we all ran to his aid.  He assured us he was fine and said he felt as though he broke another rib.  In light of that there was nothing else to be done.  (In the past we would have his chest x-rayed only to be told that they couldn't visualize a new fracture, then a few months later he would be asked "Have you had a broken rib recently?"   The repairing fractures would always show up on his chest x-rays.)  We just kept a close eye on him the rest of the day just in case.  His discomfort continued however and over he became more and more short of breath.  He decided to go to the CF clinic in December because he thought he probably had an increasing lung infection.  He was started on a round of IV antibiotics and we returned home.  His shortness of breath continued to increase after Christmas.  By January, he concluded it was time to get reactivated on the lung transplant list.

Because it had been 9 years since the initial transplant evaluation he was informed he would have to go through the evaluation process again to update his records.  We were concerned though about the new lung allocation system that was going into place.  Bill had been active on the transplant list for three years accumulating those precious minutes putting him at the top of the list when he needed lungs.  Now, with the new allocation system would he be sick enough to qualify?  Would he still be at the top of the list?  We didn't know, but trusted the Lord to work everything out according to His Will.

As we drove home following his update testing we received a phone call from his CF clinic coordinator telling him they had determined the cause of his shortness of breath.  It wasn't a deterioration of his CF lung disease.  In stead, his mitral valve had ruptured!  We were instructed to return to the hospital asap.  A cardiac catherization showed that Bill's heart muscle was in great shape, but his mitral valve had a severe rupture allowing blood to back wash in his heart. Bill was now in a significantly different position in regard to his CF and lung transplant potential.  In spite of Bill's lungs not being quite sick enough for lung transplant, he could not survive mitral valve repair surgery due to his CF damaged lungs.  His only option was have a double lung transplant and repair or replace his damaged mitral valve at the same time.

Needless to say, our 2004 Thanksgiving brought with it another life changing event in our lives.  At the same time we continued to be so very thankful for the Lord's protective hand covering Bill during those early days of mitral valve failure.  The Lord kept Bill alive, strengthing us and preparing the way for his future needs.  As we kept our eyes on Him and His Will for our lives He gave us hope through His Great Mercy for us.

Today though Bill is no longer with us, the Lord continues to extend His Great Mercy to us.  He is my portion; my hope; my strength; therefore I can enter His gates with singing and His courts with praise.  Thanksgiving Blessings.